A Blues Brothers Christmas
by Mrs. Mojo Risin' Blues
Summary: Maria Valens join the Blues Brothers during their first Christmas together as a trio. How will things turn out? OC/Elwood included  Rated T for mild language and suggestive themes


Maria Valens woke up with a sudden chill that was cuased by the cold atmosphere. She got up groggily to turn the heater up, when she noticed many small falling dark siloettes of what looked like, snow. She opened her cutains and saw her hometown of Callumet City Illinois gently being blanketed with the fluffy snow. Maria smiled in delight. She had always loved this time of the year with carols, warm food, and presents. She glanced at her clalander and crossed off the day December 21st and circled December 22nd.

_3 more days until Christmas_ She thought happily _Thank god I already got Jake and Elwood's presents_

She gently tapped the wrapped gifts further underneath the bed and snuggled under the covers agin, comforted by the holiday spirit.

_I wonder how my first Christmas with jake and Elwood is gonna turn out..._

* * *

><p>"Jake...Jake!"<p>

The older Blues Brother rolled on his side and faced his younger brother, Elwood.

"What?" he groaned

"We need to go shopping today; I need a gift for Maria."

Jake got up, his hair a mess, and yawned "Okay okay! We'll go, only because I need to pick her gift out too."

The Blues Brothers got dressed and headed to the hotel lobby where they found Maria sitting and drinking her morning coffee.

"Morning" Elwood greeted sweetly to his girlfriend.

She looked up and smiled at him as she recived his kiss. "morning guys"

The brothers got their breakfast and chowed down

"Today I'm thinking about dropping by the orphanage just to say hi & Merry Christmas" Maria told the guys

"We don't have to come, do we?" jake asked alarmingly

"Not if you don't want to"

"Well, Jake and I have stuff to do anyway. We need to get presents for the band" Elwood half lied.

She didn't know that The brothers had already picked out their gifts fr the rest of the band.

"Ah" she repsonded as she drank her coffee.

After breakfast, they went their seperate ways. Jake and Elwood took the bluesmobile while Maria hailed a taxi, since she had her licence revoked. The taxi dropped her off and she headed towards the orphanage that she and the brothers had helped save. She opened the door & approached The Penguin's office up the reaky steps with the creepy crusifix. She knocked three times.

"Who is it?"

"Maria Valens"

"Come in"

Maria opened the door and let herself in the tiny office where she found Sister mary putting up Christmas lights.

The old nun smiled and hugged Maria tightly "It's always nice to see you dear."

Maria smiled and sat down in front of the desk "Nice to see you too. I came by to wish you and the staff a Merry Christmas"

"God bless you,dear and a merry chirstmas to you too" Sister mary said nicely

"How have things at the orphanage been?" Maria asked curiously

"The children were so happy when they learned they weren't going to be moved. It wouldve been hard on them if the place had shut down"

"I can imagine, but I'm glad things are going well, especially around the holidays"

"Talking about the holidays" Sister Mary said "We're having a celebration for the children on Christmas eve and I want you, Jacob and Elwood to come ad sing to the children."

Maria blinked once, a bit suprised by The Penguin's request "Well uh...I would like to, but I don't know about the guys"

"When you see them, tell them they must come and Curtis is dying to see them again"

Maria remembered the friendly janitor growing up at the orphanage, but she really talk to him because of her focus on her guitar lessons. It wasn't personal, it was her being focused.

"Alright, I'll tell them"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, the brothers were at the mall and were looking around for a present for thier guitarist they wondered around until Elwood passed by a certain object that caught his attention.<p>

"I think I might buy that for her" he said to Jake as he pointed at it

"It's nice" Jake said "I know she'll like it since she liked that locket you gave her"

As Elwood talked to the cashier about his choice, Jake wondered off to try to find his present for her. He looked up and down the alses when he spotted the 'Feminine products' ailse. Jake smiled slyly and brainstormed for an idea as he approached it and chose his gag present of chosise and concealed it secrelty in his coat pocket. Jake later found his real gift to her and met Elwood at the cash register.

* * *

><p>The brothers arrived back home where they found Maria approach her room.<p>

"Thank god we are officially done with Christmas shopping" Elwood said

"Oh good" she said "Hey uh...I gotta tell you two something"

"What?"

"When I visted Sister Mary today, she told me to tell you that she wants us to go to the orphanage on Christmas eve to sing to the kids"

"Oh god, this is like Garden-Land all over again!" Jake complained

"She also said Curtis wants to see you guys"

Jake and Elwood glanced at each other happily. They had missed thier old father figure for a while now, and they havent seen him in forever.

Jake finally rolled his eyes "Okay we'll go, but only for Curtis! I don't give a shit about those brats"

Maria laughed at his brutal honesty

* * *

><p>On Christmas eve evening, The Blues Brothers and Maria arrived at the orphanage and went inside. The whole inside was decorated nicely with wreaths, Childrens Christmas drawings and some cranberry strings. The smell of gingerbread filled the air as they approached the main room, and found Sister Mary cleaning up. She spotted the group and approached them. "Hello you three, nice for you to come. The children are outside playing in the snow, they should be in shortly."<p>

"Jake, Elwood!"

The brothers turned and found Curtis himself standing on the threshold. They approched him happily and chatted for a bit with him, until Curtis noticed Maria.

"And who is this young lady?"

Elwood approacher her and wrapped an arm around her waist

"She's my girlfriend. Maria this is Curtis. Curtis, this is Maria. She used to actually come here."

Maria and Curtis shook hands

"Now correct me if I'm wrong." Curtis began "but were you the girl who always had her samll toy guitar with her at all times?"

"Yeah, that's me!" she said happily

"Oh wow! You've grown to be a lovely young lady." Curtis told her in a polite manner

"Thank you" she said kindly

"Jacob" The penguin began "I must ask for a favor"

"What is it?"

"You see, we want to surpise the children with a visit from Santa Claus and..." she trailed off

Jake caught her drift and shook his head. "No...no! There is no way in hell I am dressing in a bright red suit!"

Sister Mary gave him an angry look and smacked him with her trusty ruler

"AHH!"  
>"You dare run your mouth on Christmas eve? Shame on you boy!" she scolded<p>

She smacked him again multiple times until he gave in

"Okay fine! I'll dress up!" he argued "Where is the costume?"

"In Curtis' room" The Penguin said

Jake made a face and walked down the stairs to the basement where Curtis' room is.

"Elwood, Maria, since Jacob is playing the role of Santa Claus, you two along with Curtis provide the music to sing to the children." Sister Mary told them.

"What songs do we do?" Elwood asked "The regular carols?"

"Something you think the children will enjoy."

"How about this..." Curtis offered "You two sing a duet, and then you two sing seperate sings on your own? I'll be on the piano."

"But you have to sing with us!" Elwood responded

"We'll sing a trio together or a quartet if jake wants to"

"I think that sounds ok" Maria responded

"So what songs do we do?" Elwood asked

"I wanna do 'The Little Drumer Boy/Peace on Earth' It's a beautiful duet and I think we can pull it off." Maria told him

"I'll do "The Christmas Song"" Curtis said

"Hmmm.."Elwood though aloud "Maybe I can do...White Christmas?"

"Sure!" Maria encouraged "You can bring off that Bing Crosby vibe when you sing"

"As for our trio or quartet...what about...Silent Night?" Curtis asked

Elwood and Maria shrugged

"Sure"

"Alright, I'm bringing in the children." Sister Mary told them "Get ready and tell Jacob to come downstairs"

"I'll get him." Elwood said as he went down.

Maria went into the main room to help Curtis set up the music and refreshments. Meanwhile, Elwood arrived at the basement and found his older brother in a red suit, fake white beard and a red hat.

"Why me, huh?" Jake asked as he looked at his relfection with much displeasrure "Why did she choose me to be Santa? Because I'm fat?"

"You're not fat." Elwood responded "You're just...unfit."

"Just because I'm not a twig like you doesnt mean I'm unfit. I just...don't like running and like a little extra food. Is that a crime?" Jake argued

"Look man, you gotta get up there. The Penguin said so."

Jake looked at himself once more in the mirror "I hate this holiday"

* * *

><p>Elwood came into the main room and gave Sister Mary a thumbs up, signaling to her that Jake was ready.<p>

"Alright Children, let's give a warm welcome to Santa Claus!"

"Ho ho ho!" Jake exclaimed, trying to disguise his voice.

He entered the room with a huge sack of presents and the childen go nuts. Maria bit her bottom lip to refrian from laughing out loud

"What a sight for sore eyes" Curtis retorted

Santa jake sat on a huge chair and opened up the sack.

"Now lets see what all you...kids are gonna get! Im only giving one present per kid because its not Christmas yet. Its Christmas eve and...I'll drop off the rest after you sleep." Jake said to them as he handed out the gifts

iNice improvisation Jake/i Maria thought to herself

Once Jake was finished, he went to the Eggnog bowl with his brother and Maria.

"I need a drink" he grumbled.

He poured himself some eggnog and took out a coat pocket hidden flask and poured some of its contents into the drink.

"Santa, what are you pouring into your eggnog?" one little freckled red head boy asked Jake

Jake looked alarmed and noticed Sister Mary disapproving greatly with his beverage of choise.

"Uh.." he stammered "It's uh...medicine! Yeah, uh...you see I have a cold going on and my doctor told me that eggnog with medicine will get rid of it!"

"Ohhh" the boy responded, in full understanding

Elwood and Maria snickered and drank more of the eggnog.

"Hey Santa" Elwood joked "Can I have some medicine too?"

"Me too?" Maria asked

Jake poured some vodka into their eggnogs and they all drank in silence.

* * *

><p>After everyone was comfortable, either relaxing or letting the kids play, Curtis approached the piano, sat down and began skimming through some music sheets.<p>

"Alright now, let's do some caroling"

"Who'll go first?" Elwood asked

"Let's do the duet first." Maria mumbled to Elwood "So we can get the religious songs out of the way first"

"Good idea"

"We decided to go with "Little drummer boy/Peace on earth" Maria told Curtis.

Curtis played the piano intro and right after, Elwood and Maria sang together

_Come they told me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum_

_A new-born king to see pa-rum-pum-pum-pum _

_Our finest gifts we bring pa-rum-pum-pum-pum Rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum_

Elwood sang the little Drummer boy part while Maria sang the Peace on Earth part of the song. The song was divided like that, but it sounded beautiful put togeter and with thier voices, the whole song bascially lit up the room.

_Peace on Earth, can it be (Come they told me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_  
><em>Years from now, perhaps we'll see (A new-born king to see pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)<em>  
><em>See the day of glory (Our finest gifts we bring pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)<em>  
><em>To See the day, when men of good will (to lay before the king pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)<em>  
><em>Live in peace, live in peace again (Rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum)<em>

_Peace on Earth, (so to honour him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

_can it be (when we come)_

They sang in unison the bridge of the song

_Every child must be made aware; Every child must be made to care Care enough for his fellow man to give all the love that he can_

_I pray my wish will come true (Little baby pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

Maria made an awkward face and Jake snickered as she sang the next lyric _For my child and your child too (I stood beside him there pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

She stopped with the face and had a peaceful smile as she sang and glanced at Elwood, loving the way he sang.

_He'll see the day of glory (I played my drum for him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

She held his hand and rested her head on his shoulder as they sang and Elwood smiled at her as he sang.

_See the day when men of good will (I played my best for him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_  
><em>Live in peace, live in peace again (Rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum)<em>

_Peace on Earth, (And he smiled at me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_  
><em>can it be (me and my drum)<em>

_Can it be..._

The whole audience cheered and clapped for the couple and they bowed.

"Let's have Santa join us!" Maria called out, beckoning Jake

Jake approached them, a bit tipsy from his vodka.  
>"We're doing Silent Night ok?" Elwood asked<p>

"Okay"

Curtis got on the piano again and the quratet sang in unison

_Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright Round yon Virgin Mother and Child Holy Infant so tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace_

Sister Mary seemed to be happy with their first two song choises, mainly because it dealt with the birth of Jesus.

_Silent night, holy night! Shepherds quake at the sight Glories stream from heaven afar Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!_  
><em>Christ, the Saviour is born Christ, the Saviour is born<em>

_Silent night, holy night _

_Son of God, love's pure light _

_Radiant beams from Thy holy face _

_With the dawn of redeeming grace _

_Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth_

"Alright Elwood, it's your turn...unless you wanna go Curtis" Maria added "Let him go next" Elwood said "I'll take over the instruments"  
>Curtis got up and Elwood led on the blues harp as he sang<p>

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,Jack Frost nipping on your nose, Yuletide carols being sung by a choir, and folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe, help to make the season bright. Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow, will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way; he's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh. And every mother's child is going to spy, to see if reindeer really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase, to kids from one to ninety-two, Although its been said many times, many ways, a very Merry Christmas to you

Elwood improvised a bluesy harp solo that seemed to go well with the song as Curtis repeated the last verse.

_And so I'm offering this simple phrase, to kids from one to ninety-two, _

_Although its been said many times, many ways, a very Merry Christmas to you_

More applause filled the room and Curtis stepped off to let Elwood have his moment. He began to sing in his deep voice that drove his girlfriend crazy.

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas Just like the ones I used to know Where the treetops glisten, and children listen To hear sleigh bells in the snow_

Maria played a soft melodic acoustic guitar along with Curtis' piano as Elwood continued

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas With every Christmas card I write May your days be merry and bright And may all your Christmases be white_

_Eat your heart out Bing Crosby_ Maria thought smugly

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas with every Christmas card I write May your days be merry and bright And may all your Christmases be white_

The room filled with applause again as Elwood went to Santa Jake. "Hey Santa, wanna sing for us?"

"Nah, I'm tired" Jake complained "Let Six Strings go"

"What a 'Six Strings'?" one little girl asked

"Oh uh I mean...I'll let Maria go and sing for you children."

Maria got her acoustic and began playing the beginning riff, which was originally done on a keyboard in the song. The song she chose wasn't exactly a traditional song, but it made her smile nevertheless when she had heard it the year before.

_The moon is right ;The spirit's up. We're here tonight and that's enough Simply having a wonderful Christmas time. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time_

_The party's on. The feelin's here that only comes this time of year_

_Simply having a wonderful Christmas time. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time_

She turned to the children that were listening to her.

"Now kids," she said "when I move my finger I want you guys to sing 'Ding dong ding dong ding dong oooo ooooo oooo'" she sang "Okay?"  
>"Ok" they all said<p>

_The choir of children sing their song_  
>She moved her finger, conducting them as they sang <em>Ding dong, ding dong Ding dong, ding, oooo oooo oooo<em>

_Y'know I actually do feel like im having a wonderful Christmas time_ she thought to herself as she played the keyboard solo.  
>The room began clapping to the rythm of the song as she played more and winked at Elwood with a smile<p>

_Simply having a wonderful Christmas time. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time_  
>She gave a small glance at jake when she sang the next verse<p>

_The word is out about the town to lift a glass Ah, don't look down._

_Simply having a wonderful Christmas time Simply having a wonderful Christmas time_

She turned to the kids again

_The choir of children sing their song, They practiced all year long_

This time, she conducted half of the room who sang _Ding dong, ding dong ding dong, ding dong ding dong,_ While the other half also sang the words bit in a different pitch _ding dong ding dong, ding dong Ding dong, ding dong Ding dong, ding dong_

The whole room was melodic and Sister mary was enjoying it very much.

_The moon is right ;The spirit's up. We're here tonight and that's enough Simply having a wonderful Christmas time. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time_

_The moon is right ;The spirit's up. We're here tonight and that's enough Simply having a wonderful Christmas time. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time Simply having a wonderful Christmas time Simply having a wonderful Christmas time_

_Oh, Christmas time_

Maria finshed the song and everyone cheered even louder for her.

"Hey hold on guys" she said as she stopped the applause "Curtis, Santa and Elwood did a good job too. Give them a hand too!"

She clapped along with the staff and children and the men bowed politely to thier audience hr  
>An hour passed by and The children had to get ready for bed so they can wake up in the morning to find presents for them underneath the tree. Jake was getting dressed to his normal clothes in Curtis' basement while Curtis, Elwood and Maria helped clean the main room and put the remaining presents under the tree.<p>

"Thank you very much for what you three did tonight" Sister Mary said with a smile "This year was hard on them and at least this year can end happily"

"Well uh" Elwood began "We couldn't say no to you. Besides, some of my happiest memories from my childhood here involved Christmastime"

"Oh yes, mine too" Maria agreed.

Jake stepped up in his normal clothes and ajusted his hat "Okay, we gotta go now"

"Oh, before you three leave, I have some things for you." Sister Mary said as she scuttled her way to a different room.

"She's giving us presents?" Maria wondered outloud.

"Weird..." Elwood mumbled

Sister Mary returned to the trio with two bibles and a cherry red rosary "Maria, the rosary is for you."

"Oh thank you." she said kindly as she took the rosary and put it on.

It matched her sweater and lipstick nicely.

"As for you two gentlemen, I give you these bibles to remind you of God's ways and how you must obey what he says no matter what."

Elwood and Jake looked at their first Christmas presents of the year

"Thanks" Elwood said in monotone. "We gotta go now so...we'll see ya. Merry Christmas"

"Merry Christmas" she called out as they stepped outside the orphanage and into the cold and chilly air and inside the bluesmobile.

* * *

><p>When they arrived home, they decided to just give each other thier presents instead of waiting for the next day. Maria got her presents for the guys and went inside their room, where she found some stockings with their names on them in fabric paint. She sat down on the edge of Elwood's bed with their presents beside her.<p>

"Okay so who's first?" Maria asked

"I'll go first." Jake said.

He got a heavy green giftwrapped present beside him and gave it to Elwood. "Here ya go,man"

Elwood tore the paper and saw it was a music book that had the best harmonica players in Blues music and how to play like them and develop techniques. The title was called "Blues Harps: Legends, Lessons and Lon-Lasting techniques" Elwood smiled a bit and gave Jake a 'man-hug'

"Thanks man. I like it"

"Now as for yours." Jake said to Maria "Look inside your stocking"

She peeked inside her stocking and gasped at what she saw. Jake had placed about 15 pregancy tests in there and he seemed highly amused by that

"You asshole!"

She threw them at him and he started cracking up like crazy. Elwood turned dark red and hid his face in his hands.

"Hey, if I'm gonna be an uncle, I wanna know!" he retorted

"You mean that was my gift from you?" she asked in dismay

"Calm down, that's just a stocking stuffer!" Jake replied "Here's your real present..."

He gave her a red giftwrapped present and she took it from him slowly, growing suspicious over what it was. She tore the paper and saw it was a band T-shirt of The Rolling Stones and their "Exile on main Street" album cover.

"Huh...and it's my favorite album from them" she said to jake

"You're welcome." he said

She rolled her eyes "Thank you Jake. I misjudged you."

"Yeah you did"

"Okay my turn." Elwood said to them.

He handed Jake his present and he unwrapped it, revealing it was Playboy magazine.

"I can just get this at the store" Jake said disapointedly

"Look on the inside" Elwood told him

jake peeked inside and found a 2 year subscription to the magizine.

"Sweet, man! Thanks!" Jake said happily

Elwood turned to his girlfriend who smiled and batted her long lashes flirtily at him. He took out a medium sized box with a little white bow and gave it to her. She took it and opened the box. There in the box, was a sleek, beautiful black and silver watch with some diamonds that replaced the numbers.

"Oh wow!" she cooed. "It's beautiful! I love it! Thank you so much..."

She gave him a loving kiss until Jake broke it up "Hey hey! Save that for under the miseltoe!"

"Shut up jake" she said calmly as she smiled dreamily at Elwood. "Now it's my turn."

She got a blue giftwrapped box and gave it to Jake. He shook it and heard its contents rattle.

"What is it?"

"Open the damn box and you'll see!" she exclaimed

He tore the paper and opened the box to find...about 200 condoms. Elwood burst out laughing and Jake scooped some up with his hand.

"And you're pissed at me for giving you tests?" he asked in disbeleif over his gift.

"Hey, I gave those to you because I care about your health" she said, being a smartass "besides, if Elwood is gonna be an uncle...we would wanna know."

Elwood continued laughing as Jake looked at his 200 small squares and shrugged "Well I am running out of these...mind as well keep them"

She sighed and rolled her eyes "Okay just so my concence is clear, that was just a prank. Your real gift is this..."

She gave him a 50 dollar giftcard for any Jack Daniels drink.

"Aw nice!" he exclaimed "I will use this up by the end of the week!"

"I bet" she said in a low voice.

She turned to her boyfriend and felt joyous. She hoped he would like her first christmas gift to him and gave him a box, similar in size to the one Elwood handed to her. He opened it and found a new watch as well.

This time however, it was a real authentic silver Rolex watch almost like what the celebrities wear.

"Oh my god!" he exclaimed happily "This is amazing!"

"Let's see how it looks." Maria said with a smile as she enjoyed seeing her boyfriend enjoy his gift.

Elwood took off his broken watch and replaced it with the Rolex. He turned his wrist gently, showing it off.

"I promise to be careful and not to break it."

She laughed and was about to recive his thank-you kiss, when Jake stopped them and raised a miseltoe between them

"Okay you can continue" he said

Maria chuckled and recived Elwood's loving sweet kiss.

* * *

><p>Later, Jake fell asleep so Elwood and Maria were gazing over the snowy Callumet City on their balcony on lawn chairs, and a huge comfy blanket was draped over them as they sipped hot chocolate.<p>

"You know, this has been the best Christmas yet. " Maria said to him "Because I'm spending it with people I love."

"Yeah." he said kindly "This has been my first Christmas in 3 years that I'm not alone. Jake's free from prison and you're here. Nothings better than that."

They kissed and both lovers felt warm, despite the cold from outside, because of the happiness and love they shared on their first Christmas together.


End file.
